Me with myself :
At times I sit with myself thinking about me… Thinking about all the wrongs I have done..Thinking about the steps I have taken not to repeat the same wrongs…
Do I love this conversation /dialogue /monologue???
Yes, I do…
Not because I am self-obsessed but I am concerned about myself… I believe in karma… And I don’t want to get the pinch of the bad karma… You can call it anything… For me it’s self-realization…
Last time when I sat with myself, we were casually discussing about my relationship… Ohh! Hold your horses… When I say relationships, I am not going to reveal the name of all those I have dated… But why the first thing which came to your mind is a love affair with a guy… We can think of Relationships with parents, siblings, relatives , neighbors, colleagues, house helps, drivers, car cleaners and so on and so forth…
But I am sure, you would never think about these relationships which plays vital role in your life…
I had horrible relationships with many of those mentioned above and tried a lot to convince myself that not every relationship is based on ‘Money’. Money can not be the foundation stone of any relationship… True, ain’t it??? But definitely a lack of it damages the relationship…
Another thing which comes to my mind is ‘Commitment’… Commitment to stand by someone in thick and thin… Commitment to support morally, emotionally, physically… Commitment to go that extra mile for that particular person…Commitment to keep him /her on the priority list (here i am not boosting about topping the priority list or blah blah)
Well,above factors work well in romantic relationship and I am not going to specifically talk about that as was never so lucky in romantic relationships.
But with other relationships ,the dynamics are little different.Either patience works or give it a damn attitude (basically fuck yourself attitude).These days ,I am feeling the later one is dominating.
Does it mean I am lacking patience or my patience is being over-tested ? – A question I imposed on myself
And the question continues:
Do I know when to be patient, and when to give in to my impatience?
It’s good to know such things, because the stakes can be quite high at times.Then I realized there are certain factors which trigger my impatience.
I look for shortcuts (and are motivated to take them if I find them)
I consider switching goals (and sometimes do)
The logic continues:
Acceptance and forgiveness can take you through difficult times.There will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms is a big part of what relationships are all about.
One thing which has helped me in recent times is,Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them. We all screw up.I did many a times and I speak it loud and clear. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that had made me turn my life around and has given me more time for joy.
This conversation with myself was enchanting.Hope next time when we sit,we will discuss on something more meaningful.
Do you speak to yourself as well ?
Hi! I am Anushree Dash…
1 Part Entrepreneur
2 Parts Writer
3 Parts Social reformer
4 Parts explorer
5 Parts photographer, Too many Parts.
A free-spirited,non-conformist,,impenitent,independent,adventurous,boho soul and an admirer of life. Loves my Indian roots, Culture, Aesthetic Living, Saree, Poetry …