Dear Parents of the Problematic sons,
When your son doesn’t have a purpose in his life,the best thing is to guide him.the best thing is to understand him and help him be a marriage material or a husband material like the way you expect your daughter-in-law to be a wife material.
Don’t fix a marriage for him.
What makes you think:
Marriage is the one-stop solution to all of life’s problems.
If your son is partying too much lately? Get him married.
If your son is having ‘an affair’ with someone? Marriage will set her right.
If your son is not taking family responsibilities? Make him responsible with marriage.
And a new one on the list,
If your son a homosexual?Marriage will cure him.
Marriage is more of a disciplinary institution for you all.
Shaadi ke baad sudhar jayega (He will improve after marriage) is a common statement is many households when you give up on your sons.And if that doesn’t work,Bachche ke baad sab theek ho jayega! (Things will get better once they have a child!)
Is it a reasonable expectation? Is it fair? Is it not outright deceitful and selfish?
It’s difficult to understand whether you need a beautiful,understanding,educated wife for your sons or a psychologist,a therapist,a psychotherapist and a healer.
What makes you think that his wife would be able to make him understand which you miserably failed in last 25 -30 years(considering that’s the ideal age of marriage in India).Will you be accepting these (so called) questionable,arguable and uncertain behavior of your daughter-in-law ?
Is it that unfortunate woman’s responsibility, to either change your burdensome and bothersome son with her love, dedication and charm or learn to live with him.And god forbid,if her efforts are not visible,then she is not a wife material(basically a bitch!)Her parents haven’t taught her anything.Blah blah…
She can be incredible but tagging her along your burdensome son ,
Is it logical?
Is it justified?
Anyway, does it really make sense to for her to stick around with the wrong partner only out of fear of a ruined future or societal values or family values ?
Well,my final verdict:
Aren’t you obsessed with your son’s marriage?
Did you ever stop and think about the real meaning of marriage or soul mate?
You need to bring the change!!!
The idea is not to let down your ego or overrate the feminine accomplishments,
the basic ideology is to create a more balanced world where both the genders respect the institution of marriage and take up their responsibilities and can work together as a team taking inspirations from each other’s work and capabilities.
Till that time “Let the girl think,No one will marry you if your Roti is not round”
A Nugatory Daughter-in-law
Hi! I am Anushree Dash…
1 Part Entrepreneur
2 Parts Writer
3 Parts Social reformer
4 Parts explorer
5 Parts photographer, Too many Parts.
A free-spirited,non-conformist,,impenitent,independent,adventurous,boho soul and an admirer of life. Loves my Indian roots, Culture, Aesthetic Living, Saree, Poetry …